News — His profanity-laced tirades notwithstanding, 鈥淭he Old Man鈥� emerges a hero when he buys Ralphie a coveted Red Rider BB gun.
Scott Calvin, an overworked, detached father, saves Christmas鈥攁nd his relationship with his son鈥攚hen he embodies the heart of a believer and giver.
And Walter Hobbs finds the true spirit of Christmas in the childlike wonder of his long lost son, Buddy.
Whether it鈥檚 鈥淎 Christmas Story,鈥� 鈥淭he Santa Clause鈥� or 鈥淓lf,鈥� dads play a vital role in recent popular Christmas films. In real-life holiday scenarios, fathers do as well鈥nd that鈥檚 true whether dads are merry makers or Christmas curmudgeons, notes Dan Strasser, professor of communication studies at Rowan University.
鈥淚n many Christmas movies, it鈥檚 the dad who realizes the spirit of Christmas,鈥� says Strasser, who studies family, gender and interpersonal communication with emphasis on father-son relationships.
As families watch popular holiday films, they reinforce the way they view the holidays and their family roles in them, Strasser says. Dad suddenly seems just like the turkey-obsessed father and Mom becomes the make-everyone-happy mother in 鈥淎 Christmas Story.鈥�
鈥淲e do change our experiences and project that through media. There is a ritualistic role-playing that we all buy into and there鈥檚 a sense that that鈥檚 what Christmas is,鈥� says Strasser.
Family systems and patternsWhether Dad embraces 鈥淏ah Humbug鈥� and Mom makes merry鈥攐r vice versa鈥攖hat still means Christmas to the family, Strasser notes.
鈥淚t鈥檚 the people we deal with and share things with that makes Christmas,鈥� says Strasser. 鈥淔amily systems and family patterns are the fun, cool things that bind us together.鈥�
Though some families today are more 鈥淢odern Family鈥� than 鈥淟eave it to Beaver,鈥� 鈥渢hey create their own systems and rituals that make them close,鈥� Strasser says. 鈥淭here鈥檚 no such thing as a traditional family any more.鈥�
So, what happens if a Humbug-happy Dad suddenly gets the holiday spirit and starts singing 鈥淚 Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas鈥� around the family piano? Don鈥檛 make a fuss, Strasser says.
鈥淏e sure you don鈥檛 say, 鈥榃hat鈥檚 wrong with Dad?鈥欌�� he notes. 鈥淎cting toward them in a predictable way leaves them in a category of where they think they 鈥榦ught鈥� to be. Don鈥檛 celebrate the fact that they鈥檙e celebrating. Just enjoy it.鈥�
Instrumental and utilitarian giftsDads famously are called upon to put things together--lights, toys, game tables--at Christmas. That falls right into their wheelhouse, Strasser says.
鈥淢en want to be seen as useful. Even if they鈥檙e 鈥楤ah Humbugging鈥� the whole experience, they still want to be part of it. That鈥檚 just the way they show it,鈥� says Strasser.
Finally, what do you get Dad for Christmas? When it comes to gifts, gender research shows that most men are instrumental and utilitarian, Strasser notes. They also enjoy gifts with staying power, things that they can use and show off, according to Strasser.
鈥淢en want things they can use. If you do give a gift that鈥檚 more sentimental, they鈥檇 want something that can be shown over a long period of time, something that they can show as a status symbol,鈥� says Strasser.
鈥淲e got my dad a shop vac for Christmas a few years ago and he was like a kid on Christmas morning.鈥�
Even if you go the utilitarian gift-giving route, a little sweetness is nice鈥ven for Dads who have difficulty sharing their emotions, says Strasser.
鈥淲rite a card. Don鈥檛 buy one,鈥� he says. 鈥淧ut forth a little bit of effort into expressing the sentiment of the season.鈥�
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